Black parenting to prepare and empower Black youth to be successful adults.
by Rick Wallace, Ph.D., Psy.D. Executive Director of The Odyssey Project
I saw an extremely disturbing video earlier that revealed just how much of an impact the feminist movement, the gay agenda and the overall emasculation of men (especially black men) has had on American culture and the black community in particular.
While mothers use their children to settle scores from past hurts and buy into lies that convince them that they can raise their sons to be men, the next generation is totally falling apart due to the lack of male leadership.
We can’t blame it all on the women men. Far too many of us are out chasing nothing attempting to fill that emptiness inside with “emptiness.” Tell me how that is working out for you.
Yes, there are some of you who have become frustrated because you can’t engage your sons and daughters because their mother has become your #1 obstacle. Listen, I know that feeling very well, but I refuse to use it as an excuse to walk away. In fact, it is what drives me. There is no excuse to give up and turn around. If all you get is one conversation a month with your child, make it count while you fight for two then three then more conversations. Let me make this clear; this is not about your pride or your ego, this is about your responsibility as a man and a leader — it’s time to step up!
The one thing that your children should never be able to say is that you went quietly into the night — that you folded in the face of resistance. I am far from being the perfect father, but I refuse to lie down and be nothing.
We men must also learn how to stop competing with one another like we are still kids and start standing with one another to provide the support and guidance that allows us to resume our rightful place as leaders, providers, coverings and protectors of our families and communities.
Women, it is time for you to assume your God-ordained role to provide the support and encouragement that we men need to face this surge of evil that is poised to rob us of our future by destroying the minds of our young male progeny. Your power is not in resisting or breaking us — far too many of you have been hoodwinked into believing that lie. Every time you break a black man down, you deal a blow to the future of our people, because without black men, the black race has no future.
This is a time for unity for we have been divided far too long. Married women, stop talking your husband down to anyone who will listen. When you do that, you have failed in your design just as much as he is failing in his. You married him, and with that came responsibilities that are covenantal and binding under God. One role you have as his missing rib is to cover his weakness and not allow them to be exposed. You deal with him and God (and spiritual or professional counseling if necessary) on those — no one else. He was designed to respond to your words of affirmation, not words of criticism and defamation. If he can’t trust and depend on you to hold him down, who can he turn to?
Single women, instead of sporting your pulchritude, show your support. Become intimately acquainted with your design and role and you will immediately become appreciative of the role of the men around you. True godly men will appreciate your virtue and support over pulchritude or superficial beauty every time. Most of us have ended up with empty boxes because we went for the beautiful package without ever wondering what was inside, so we have learned to look beneath the surface for the true value.
As a black husband and a Black father, I find myself in a very disquieting situation. The two things that I most identify with and I am most passionate about look nothing like their design and purpose. There is no strength or power. There is no purpose or identity. The only thing I see in abundance is talk and rhetoric — which is absolutely useless without corresponding action.
It is time to rise up and make a difference. It is time for each of us to live at the level of our design. ~ Rick Wallace, Ph.D., Psy.D.