A Challenge to Black Men
I have never lacked confidence, it was something that my great-grandparents (adopted parents) worked very hard to instill in me at a very early age. I have been accused of being arrogant, which is fine with me. You see, I would rather be seen as arrogant than the door mat of men, by attempting to achieve some pseudo form of humility. Our young black males don’t need to see black men shrinking to make other men comfortable.
It is this innate confidence that places me in a situation in which there is no man on this planet who impresses me to the point that his presence diminishes mine. I am simply not built that way. It is this type of confidence that allows me to celebrate other brothers who are beasts in their own right. My confidence reminds me that I am not in competition with my brothers. The presence of exceptional and gifted black men don’t diminish my light, they give it validity and value.
A Challenge to Black Men
I don’t know any perfect men. In fact, we all struggle in some area or another; however, when we stand together, our strengths become intertwined and inextricably connected to one another in a manner that creates a foundation that is immeasurably strong and impenetrable.
Now, allow me to make myself lucidly clear here. We, as a race of people, are here because of failed leadership. We can easily take the coward’s way out and blame our women for their contempt and lack of support, which must be addressed, or we can blame our youth for their destructive behavior, but the bottom line is that leadership sets the tone and environment, and it gives the culture its identity and purpose. We call ourselves kings and heads, but we refuse to take on the filial responsibilities that are associated with those titles.
We have developed a proclivity to demand respect for a position that we have yet to fill. First, we must get out of our feelings and selfish mindsets and start looking at the bigger picture. The moment of clarity that took me to an entirely different level of living was when I discovered that “it is not about me.” We must see the bigger picture and assume the sacrificial role of leading. While we may be able to point the finger at our women, or the younger generation, the truth is that they are simply a reflection of our leadership. We sought comfort and safety, which led to the abdication of our roles as leaders, providers, protectors and spiritual coverings. We left our women and our progeny unprotected because comfort was of greater value than sacrifice.
Trust me, I have invested enough time into understanding this enigmatic dynamic to know that what we are dealing with is highly complex and there is plenty of blame to go around; however, history has shown us that as goes the leadership so goes the rest. No matter how contemptuous and hostile our women have become, they are designed to follow the power and strength of men who provide them with security and safety. If you want more responsive women, who will stand up and walk this thing out with us, give them something to trust and respect, and their very nature will demand that they fall in line. And, those who remain recalcitrant will be forced into a position in which they will either fall in line or be left behind.
There has not been any area of the black community under attack more than the black male. Why do you think that is? They have offered our women financial security and almost unlimited mobility. Black women lead the nation is matriculation at this current point in our history. They exceed the black men in earning medians; however, it is clear to see that has not led to any type of progress for blacks as a race, in fact, we have regressed in many ways. While our current situation is highly complex, the simple truth is that we will only go as far as our men lead us. Our women have the spiritual capacity to provide elevation, but progression comes from male leadership.
So, it is time to step from behind the shadows of comfort, complacency and the proclivity to compete with one another. It is time to stand up and unite as men who are not diminished by the shine of another, but validated by it. ~ Rick Wallace, Ph.D., Psy.D.
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