Judging Black Women By How Many Kids They Have… There is so much more to this. Let’s talk about healing!
I saw this meme on my timeline. It appears it was simply being used as a conversation starter and that most of the responses were casual and comical. I decided that particular thread was not the place to give serious dialogue to. So, here is my contribution to the topic. I have actually gone to great lengths to address this in Born in Captivity, my 19th book.
I am going to start at the last question posed in the meme and work my way back up.
When I met my wife, she had six beautiful children who I now love as my own. First of all, I had no room to judge her because I had multiple children by more than one woman. I saw her heart, her growth, and her healing. Her inner-beauty spoke to me in ways unimaginable. So, no amount of children is too many if hearts, missions, and visions align.
Many of you are missing out on potentially wonderful relationships because you misunderstand the blessing that is associated with influencing the lives of our youth.
The fact that women are judged differently because of their bedroom decisions is tragic, especially considering that they are sharing that bedroom with men. It is time to evolve beyond current social paradigms to examine the possibilities of healing and growing into something more.
To answer the first question of why… Sex has been reduced to a physical encounter that does not consider the spiritual and emotional ramifications that will arise. We create soul ties with people we have no intention of creating long-term connections with.
Unfortunately, babies come out of these temporary encounters. The only difference is the man gets to walk away and pretend to be single and free if he so chooses, and the mother now has a child to raise. Even for fathers who stick around, they generally get the kids on their terms and will even be viewed by women who may be interested in them in a positive light (responsible father). On the other hand, the mother is viewed as loose and tainted.
What is even sadder is the fact that while the two go their separate ways, they are still spiritually connected at the soul level. Instead of taking time to heal from the damage, most will attempt to use sex to escape the pain. They call it moving on, but they are actually complicating things on multiple levels.
At some point, if they are fortunate, they will stop long enough to heal, if not, this can continue on for years, even decades.
Our women don’t need to be judged by how many children they have, they need to be encouraged to heal and value themselves enough to protect the sanctity that should be associated with sexual intercourse.
Black Men, while having kids is an honor and should be considered a blessing, having more than you can reasonably support at least through adulthood is irresponsible. And judging women who are doing the same thing you are doing is foolish and wrong. Finally, in valuing yourself you should protect yourself from bad soul ties. It can take years to heal from them — trust me.
Black women, you are more than a pin cushion for broken men. You are the bearer of life and purpose. You are the spiritual force of the world. Don’t be reduced your physicality, you are so much more than that.
Finally, we are passing energy, genes, and more on to our children when we do this. The rise in mental health issues among our youth is not a coincidence. We are passing them down epigenetically, spiritually, and through social learning. It is time for healing! ~ Rick Wallace, Ph.D., Psy.D.
For additional resources, visit https://www.rickwallacephd.link/
Healing is possible and so very necessary
#soulties #sexualtrauma #Blackwomen #blackmen #procreating #procreatingresponsibly #blackfamily #restoringtheblackfamily #restoringghettosforgotten #BlackMenLead
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