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Serena Williams Wedding and The Absence of Her Father ~ What’s Really Going On!

Serena Williams Wedding and The Absence of Her Father ~ What’s Really Going On! (Update)

Serena Williams Wedding and The Absent of Her Father ~ What's Really Going On!

Serena Williams Wedding and The Absence of Her Father

It seems that Twitter and Social media, in general, has erupted behind the news of Serena’s lavish wedding to her husband, who happens to be non-black. There were several things that were blatantly conspicuous, beginning with the absence of her father, Richard Williams. Second, there seems to be an attempt to lighten the tone of the wedding entourage. When I say tone in mean in skin complexion.

Richard Williams has gone on record as saying that all of his life he has been hated by Whites; therefore; he does not approve of Serena and Venus’ choices as far as men go.

Before addressing this topic, there are a couple of things that need to be addressed upfront.

1. You can help who you fall in love with(The “you can’t help who you fall in love with” excuse is a copout). Watch the video.
2. Economic empowerment on an individual level does not automatically extract one from the fails of self-hatred and a loss of identity. Money only serves to facilitate the desire to assimilate.
3. There can be no Black power without there being Black accountability, so the “it’s not my business” approach has no gravity in the thrust for total liberation and empowerment.

There are some who believe that the fact that Venus and Serena’s estranged relationship with their father due to his infidelity and abandonment of their mother led to the outright betrayal of one his strongest passions — protecting the Blackness of his daughters.

There are others who make the argument that Serena couldn’t control who she fell in love with, which we know not to be the case. Controlling who you fall in love with is one of the most primitive principles and responsibilities in life. You don’t accidentally fall in love with a criminal, abuser, rapist, etc. The moment you find out who they are, you understand that who they are automatically disqualifies them from being in your life and you move on. You have to at least be willing to accept them for who they are to get close enough for you to develop feelings for them. That is a choice.

While there are some concrete guidelines that many of us live by, we cannot ignore some of the social realities that could have easily played a role in Serena’s decision to marry outside of her race. With over 1.5 million Black men missing due to mass incarceration, violence, and other factors, it is slim pickings in the area of finding a good Black man — a negative reality that is exacerbated as Black women continue to climb the ladder of success.

Black men are also extremely more likely to marry outside our race than our women, leaving a situation in which one in four Black women will never get married.

We must also acknowledge the fact that Serena has dated some Black men, some high-profile Black men, and for whatever reason, it didn’t work. She has gone on record to say that the White man she has treats her better than any Black man has ever treated her. Are we to ignore this point? I believe it is for many of us just to dismiss her claim as an excuse to step outside the race.

There is something to be said for loyalty to our race, but in demanding this type of loyalty of our women, we better damn well have ourselves up for the task, and unfortunately, this is not currently the case.

Updated Tuesday, November 21, 2017

The following is a response to a comment on a social media platform asking me to make better sense of Serena’s behavior.

“I believe the video explains my position. While it is easily explained away through superficial rhetoric, this situation is immensely more complicated than what is on the surface.

There are many questions that you must ask yourself, beginning with:

1. Why would a woman who has experienced racism in her profession to the point of boycotting a tournament for an entire decade marry within the group that assaulted her?

2. Why are our Black successful women (Eve, Janet, Serena, etc) all of a sudden jumping over to the other side? Remember all of these women dated Black men exclusively at one point, including Halle Berry.

3. What role did the manner in which her father treated her mother, after decades of marriage, have on her perception of Black men?

4. How has her travel and exposure to multiple cultures shape her perspective?

Allow me to be clear, I am not an advocate of interracial marriage, especially when it comes to Europeans. I believe it diminishes impact, identity, and influence. It is hard to lead a charge when you are seen as a person who has the enemy in your camp (mixed-loyalty). However, I am forced to examine the dynamic through which things develop. For instance, statistically speaking Black women are the least likely to marry outside of their race — Black men, not so.

The unwillingness of Black women to marry outside of their race has placed them in a position in which only one in four will ever be married in their lifetime. Are we actually asking our women to spend their lives alone? Are we asking them to marry down just to be married to a Black man? Ask Mary J. how that worked out for her. We have some very pressing questions concerning our social makeup, and while I don’t like the fact that Serena married a White man, I am aware of the social and environmental dynamic behind it. Does that excuse it, in my book, no, but it definitely explains it. Finally, until we, as Black men, get ourselves together, we are not really in a position to challenge our women’s choice in life-partners. It is time to stop asking our women to settle or marry down and to raise our own performance.” ~ Rick Wallace, Ph.D.

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  1. I also wondered about her father’s absence. I don’t see where any ou’d the media outlets are even covering it, which is ood, since he’s the one who helped unmask her talents, which is why she is a superstar/mega athlete today. Otherwise they would not even care about her wedding. Nonetheless, as a Black woman, I understood why possibly she chose to date outside her race…20 more years of waiting for Black men to act right gets old, and we don’t have to wait around for Black men to decide whether or not we should be treated like queens. Like the old saying goes: one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

    • Your comment makes no sense. The same qualities you black women hate in a good black man are the same qualities you love in an other than black man. People like you are ridiculous. You’ll never find a good black man because you do not want a good black man.

  2. Well when a black person becomes successful in any field of endeavor particularly at elevated levels such as the Williams sisters, Oprah, Cosby, O.J. they are surrounded by and immersed in white culture as whites are the ones who are most likely to inhabit that mega rich strata of society. So you become involved with the ones you find yourself surrounded withmost. I don’t thing we should assume that it was a sub conscious desire or conscious effort on her part to marry a white man.

  3. This was a great article. It is sad that many black women have to settle on dating outside of their race. I was once there. I just so happen to find a black man I could become one with. When I did TRY and date outside of my race, I must say it was extremely difficult because I know who I am. And in the back of my head, I always wondered what the white man I was dating really felt about me. I also could not erase the history of US. I was too difficult!

    • 350 years of slavery & an additional 100 years of segregation our people suffered from the hands of these same people just a few years ago but yet she see the need to marry a white man. That is disgraceful in my opinion. I often wonder why people of color when ever they obtain a little wealth suddenly you see them with people from very same race of people who oppressed their ancestors just 100 years ago, disgracful. I wonder is Serena was a poor bear foot black woman if this man would have love her?

  4. We marry for love. If we find love outside of our race, so what? People can not nor will not define my life in reference to who I decide to marry. I along with my GOD is ruler of my life. My life choices which includes whom I marry is up to me and me only. Sure, I will respect my parents but when it comes to marriage, I will marry whomever I choose. Be it a black man or a white man. It happens that for Serena Williams, she fell in love with a white man, so, be it. People, Dad, Mom, Sister, Fan or whomever, ” please, get over it, because it seems as if Serena, Ohanian and Alexis Jr are very, very happy. Our black men marry white women everyday of our lives and nothing is said. It seems as if they do not feel as though they have made it or have become successful until they have that white person on their arm along with those brown not black in color children. I say, just leave the race card alone. Enough, said.

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  • Born in Captivity: Psychopathology as a Legacy of Slavery