Gilbert Calls Lupita Ugly ~ Self-Hatred & Colorism Rears Its Ugly Head
Gilbert Calls Lupita Ugly
Gilbert calls Lupita ugly and sets off a social media storm. Lately, it seems that the one thing that I should never have to do I am doing at an increasing rate — defend my sisters from my brothers. Earlier, I read from a reputable source that former NBA star Gilbert Arenas went on social media and attacked Lupita Nyong’o, calling her ugly among other things.
This is simply another case of self-hatred and colorism overflowing into the public. It is obvious that Gilbert Arena has an issue with dark-skinned women, being that he married a woman of mixed-race, Laura Govan. It is likely that he is not happy with himself and he is projecting this hatred onto Black Women. For whatever reason that he is doing it Black men cannot allow it to happen. It is so important at this point that Black men realize that we have an inherent responsibility to protect our women.
Self-hatred, among a number of other exogenous and endogenous forces, is literally destroying the Black race and rendering us incapable of recovering and building all of the things we discuss building. Until we address the widening gap between the Black man and the Black woman our progress will continue to be stagnated.
The truth is that all of the things that we talk about doing from Black group economics to wealth building and holistically educating our youth is best facilitated within the structure of the Black family nucleus, but that has all but disintegrated. The Black family is the core institution through which axiological principles and values are taught, cultivated, protected and first executed. It is the family that the need to practice group economics is taught. It is in the family that the respect for Black women and the Black community is taught. It is in the Black family that young Black males are properly racially socialized — lower their risk of committing violence against one another and other Blacks, as well as improving their chances of being successful in life on their terms.
We need the Black family, but can can’t recover and restore the Black family as long as it remains acceptable for Black men to behave as if it is open season on Black women. No Black man should be okay with hearing another Black man or any man degrade a Black woman. In fact, Black sisters need to stop degrading one another.
To my Black sisters, I know that you have literally had your life snatched out of you. You are on spiritual life support. Some of you are victims of incest and other forms of childhood sexual abuse. Some of you are victims of parental abandonment and abuse. Even others of you are the victims of domestic violence. Then there are you who chose a man who found it to be an acceptable course of action to procreate with you then abandon his progeny.
The truth ladies is that those who hurt you may never make amends; they may never apologize, but on behalf of every man that deemed it necessary and acceptable to drain the life out of you, for every man who stepped on your dreams and battered your heart, for every man who lost himself in harming you, I personally apologize. Now, I give you permission to stand up and be all that you were designed to be. I give your permission to live. You are beautiful royalty and from this day forward you walk and live in the reality of that royalty.
To my brothers, it is now time that we rise up and accept the responsibilities of loving our sisters back to life. We must create an environment in which our women feel safest when they are in our presence. It is time for Black men to lead! ~ Rick Wallace, Ph.D., Psy.D.
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